Women Women and girls should be the first to benefit from our work. In fact, MEN is increasingly working with women in the community, as for example in the early gang intervention program at Ranchos Elementary School where we are recruiting women mentors for at-risk girls in the program. We are also piloting a girls’ group at the Chrysalis alternative school. We are, in short, exploring how the MEN Model might be adapted to the needs of the female community. From the beginning, however, MEN set itself the task of working with men and boys for a compelling reason: the glaring lack of responsible fathers and male role models in the lives of boys. In addition to that, over 90% of reported violence is committed by men - a situation that is unlikely to improve unless men reclaim their traditional role of raising boys to be respectful, productive and nonviolent members of society. |
It’s true that many single moms and same-sex couples do a great job of raising healthy sons. We salute all those women – the vast majority, in fact - who fulfill their parenting role, regardless of family constellation or sexual orientation. And so we want to be very clear on this point: working to lift men up certainly does not mean minimizing the role of women. We want men to take responsibility for themselves, pure and simple. MEN is committed to proactively preventing domestic violence and sexual abuse by training boys and men to build basic emotional health and self-esteem, while avoiding the shortcuts and posturing which may lead to abusiveness. We promote teen pregnancy prevention, sexual responsibility, and freedom from date rape. We are training fathers to step up to not only be active dads, but to fulfill their partnership and financial responsibilities as well. We are utterly intent on raising the standards for what it means to be a man, and to restore the sense of respect and responsibility which men should display towards women. Moreover, MEN can’t possibly accomplish its mission without the partnership of our female counterparts. First and foremost, we depend on the guidance of women and need to be told when we are on track and when we’re not. Second, the counselors, educators and social services personnel with whom we work every day are mostly women. Third, our mentors and volunteers absolutely must have the support of their spouses or partners in order to give themselves wholeheartedly to mentorship. Even donors seldom write checks without the agreement of their wives. The simple fact is that women by and large are more motivated to end violence and create a caring and safe community. So MEN wants to build the best of partnerships with women and accomplish great things together. When gender issues arise, as they inevitably do, we want to address them successfully, enjoyably, and hopefully with a sense of humor as well. We regard gender reconciliation as an important component of any nonviolence project. We are proud of the many partnerships we already share with women, and look forward to many more. We really need your heart, your ideas, your skills, and your networking abilities. We need to know if we’re messing up, or are right on the mark. And we need you to encourage the men in your lives to become mentors, appear in a MEN ad, or write a check. |
