The MEN Model
Most social service programs arise in response to unmet needs, and Men Engaged in Nonviolence is no exception. It began in 2003 in Taos, New Mexico when criminal violence spiked to four times the national average, domestic violence surged, and a spate of teen suicides swept the community. The last straw was a triple teen murder over a gang-related drug deal.
As an anguished community collectively wrung its hands, it was clear that a radically new approach was needed – which is exactly where MEN fit in, offering two key insights:
- Men must take primary responsibility for ending violence (after all, 97% of violent acts are committed by men).
- Nonviolence must replace the conventional anti-violence approach (replacing the punitive and reactive conventional paradigm with one which is both positive and proactive.)
With that as a starting point, MEN evolved its unique approach to empowering the men of America to stand up and reclaim the role and the standards they should have been performing all along.
The MEN Mission is “to inspire, train and empower men and boys to lead lives of nonviolence.”
The MEN Vision is of a world in which men once again perform their traditional role of raising boys to be productive, respectful and nonviolent members of society…a world in which leaders model the highest standards of what it means to be a man. . . a world in which men are involved, skilled and responsible fathers.
The MEN Strategy follows two parallel tracks: serve at-risk youth by recruiting men to serve as mentors and role models; and empower these same men, along with other leaders, to pull along the male community at large.
The Four Pillars of The Men Model are a set of simple and universal principles which have been amply tested during five years of development:
- It is the duty of men to raise boys to become respectful, productive and nonviolent members of the community.
- Boys, especially the very young, will respond positively to healthy, caring adult males.
- Leading men of the community must take a public stand for nonviolence, setting the standard for acceptable male behavior in their organizations and in the community at large.
- Volunteerism is the best means of mobilizing the male community to heal itself and tip the community towards nonviolence.
Why men? Because, frankly, men have dropped the ball and only they can pick it up again – as they absolutely must do if our society is to become healthy and safe. It is the traditional role of men to raise boys to be respectful, productive and nonviolent members of the community. Similarly, it is the role of leaders to set standards for male behavior in their respective spheres of influence, whether as businessmen, educators, coaches, or heads of family. Boys invariably look first to older males as role models, and men look primarily to other men for guidance and support as well. Therefore, while we certainly need the encouragement and guidance of women, the task of rebuilding a healthy and nonviolent male community is something that men must undertake themselves.
This is not to say that mothers can’t raise sons – of course they can. We know of many single moms and same-sex duos who do stupendous jobs of filling in for absent dads. But they shouldn’t have to! Our point is this: men need to step up and be fathers to their children, co-parents with the moms, and providers for the family, whether they live together or not – period!
Why nonviolence? Because it is the essence of real manhood and the basis for a healthy society in general. In The MEN Model, nonviolence means much more than simply not being violent: it means getting what you want without hurting anyone. To do that, you have to know yourself – your needs, your hopes and fears, your shortcomings and your gifts. Your sense of manhood must be bedrock-strong. You must have consummate self-control, informed by respectful awareness of other people’s needs. And you have to master the skills which make life work for everyone – as workmates, as couples, as family, as community. Taken to its full potential, nonviolence cuts across all differences and encompasses every value and every hope we hold in common. It is a banner under which everyone can rally.
What makes The MEN Model unique:
- Whereas conventional programs typically present themselves in terms of anti-violence, MEN prefers to elevate nonviolence as an essential and much-needed quality in our culture. This is a thoroughly positive attitude which builds community and invites communication, mutual understanding, and healing.
- Whereas most violence prevention programs focus on teens and adult offenders, MEN emphasizes early intervention. Every attempt is made to “turn” a youth before teen hormones and peer pressure make the work exponentially more difficult. The Fatherhood Program is a key component, as this is what provides access to the early developmental years.
- Whereas most programs focus solely on at-risk youth or adult offenders, MEN recognizes that mobilizing the entire male community is essential to long-term success. When 51% of the men embrace nonviolence, an historically violent community will have made an historic shift.
- By working with teachers, social workers, coaches, parents, and peers, MEN builds teams of support to guide youngsters in a concerted and consistent fashion. We make sure that no child slips through the cracks.
- Similarly, MEN supports collaborations. Whenever possible, we partner with existing organizations (schools, churches, businesses) and help empower them to perform the work themselves.
- Understanding that men like to look good as well as do good, MEN leverages this desire into increased participation and modeling of nonviolence.
- At the same time, MEN attends to the interests of women and seeks to be a model of collaboration across genders.
